The purpose of this article is to give you some information about your own brain. How it has evolved evolutionarily, and why it might be helpful for you to know a little about it.
I had a discussion with my partner just before he was going to work one early morning a few weeks ago. Great… tired and in my nightgown. Completely unprepared of the argument to come.
I have to be honest… I HATE arguments and I will go to great lenghts to avoid them. And yes, just like in all other discussions about things we disagree on, this happened:
I got scared!
My heart was pounding, it was hard to think clearly and say something sensible. It felt like all the blood was disappearing from my head, and I wanted to run out of the house. You can’t do that when you need to have an important discussion with your partner about your relationship. Sometimes things have to be sorted out, and I just had to deal with it.
Now, the point of this little story is not to reveal juicy gossip about my private life. We was a good discussion and clared up stuff that we needed to deal with in our relationship. The point of the story is that what happened to me is exaxcly what this article is all about.
Because what is it that happens when you get scared? To better understand this, it is useful to know more about the brain. How it is evolutionarily developed, and why this can be a challenge for us in a stressful everyday life. You can then use this knowledge of the brain to master your life in a better way.
The brain is an incredibly complex and amazing organ! Before, it was thought that the brain stopped developing when one had grown up, and that the number of brain cells was constant or with age, constantly decreasing. In the last 30 years however, a lot has happened on the brain research front, and many old “truths” have had to give way to new knowledge about the brain. Today we know that the brain develops throughout life, and new brain cells are also formed in adults. In particular, the discovery of fMRI (functional MRI examination) has revolutionized our understanding of how the brain works, as this tool allows researchers to look at what is happening in a person’s brain when it is exposed to different types of influence.
The oldest parts of our brain, called the reptilian brain, is so old that it dates back to when we were reptiles (hence the name “reptilian brain”). This oldest part of our brain originates from 100 million years ago and is located at the top of the neck in the transition between neck and head, and is the part of the brain that all living animals, mammals and reptiles have in common. The reptilian brain controls the “Fight or flight” response. (Somethimes it’s called “Fight, flight, freeze or faint response) Everything that happens in the reptilian brain is instinctive. This means that this response is activated when the reptilian brain perceives that you are in danger, and it happens very quickly. We have little control over this. In any situation where you feel threatened, for example when a colleague yells at you for something at work, you will feel in your body that the “Fight or flight” response is activated. You might feel that your heart starts to beat faster among other things. This is useful when you are face to face with a saber-toothed tiger, but not quite as constructive when resolving a conflict with a colleague.
Let’s go back to the example I started with. That I was terrified in a situation that was in no way life-threatening for me. It was just an argument with my partner. There was no risk of him hitting me, killing me or harming me in any way, yet I was terrified.
In short, this happened:
My reptilian brain, or more precisely the part called the Amygdala kidnapped my brain and sent me straight into a powerful “Fight or Flight” response. In popular scientific terms, this is called “Amygdala hijacking”. This has major consequences for the body, as the signals from the Amygdala causes the body to be flooded with a hormone called Adrenaline, a stress hormone. Then this happens:
- The heart beats faster
- Blood pressure increases
- The liver begins to produce sugar which it sends out into the bloodstream to give the body energy it can use to fight or flee. (ie the blood sugar rises)
- The activity in all parts of the body that is not necessary for survival is adjusted downwards, especially digestion. (You have probably experienced a loss of appetite when you are going to do something you are nervous about or dread)
- Neocortex (the newest and reflective part of the brain) almost stops working, we go from thinking rationally and analytically, to reacting by instinct and emotions.
Now think about your own life. How often do you get into situations that activate your “Fight and flight” response? When the boss calls and asks for a report you completely forgot to finish? When you forgot to bake the cake for your kids schoolarrangement? When your wife slams the cupboard doors extra loud, and you notice that she’s mad about something, but you do not know what? Or are you so stressed that you can’t even relax at all. Maybe you don’t even know what you are stressed out for, you just feel the stress in your body.
It is not dangerous in itself to enter “fight or flight” mode. The problems arise when we do it too often, and are unable to get out of it quickly. Many of us thus walk around in everyday life and are in a chronic state of “fight or flight” mode. Large amounts of research can tell ust what consequences this has on the body. Stress is now linked to absolutely all Western lifestyle diseases. Chronic stress is also the most important ingredient in burnout.
If you get 10 good feedbacks in a day and 1 negative, then it’s the negative one you’ll remember. It is the one you lie and think about in bed at night when you are not able to sleep. This is because your brain is designed to look for danger. It is important that we humans are aware that this is an evolutionary trait we all carry with us. The brain is not designed to make us happy, it is designed to ensure that we stay alive. This was very useful when we lived in caves and had to protect ourselves from predators, but is perhaps not as useful today. The threats we lface in our modern society are very often not life-threatening, but our brain and body do not always understand the difference.
So what can we do? How do we get out of the chronic stress, the negative thoughts and the high levels of stress hormones that eventually affect our health?
Here are 3 effective stress reducing “tricks” that you can start implementing in your life today:
1) Breathe!
Here is a very effective breathing exercise. If you are in a very stressful situation, lock yourself in the bathroom and do this, it only takes a few minutes.
It is called the 4-7-8 breath.
a) Inhale as you count to 4
b) Hold your breath as you count to 7
c) Exhale as you count to 8.
Repeat 5 times or more. This is also super effective if you are ruminating in bed at night and can’t fall asleep. Calms both your mind and your body. The deep breathing affects your vagus nerve and tricks your body into thinking that you are calmer than you really are. The fact that you have to count also means that you are pulled out of your mind and focusing on something here and now instead. This is mindfulness in practice.
2) Start meditating.
Do it, just do it. I mean it seriously, it will revolutionize your inner life! Do a quick search on Youtube for free information, try a few different techniques and find one that suits you. I meditate for a minimum of 15 minutes every morning and use a meditation app called “Headspace” (it costs NOK 99$ per year, and is worth every penny.). If you can get in just 5 minutes of meditation a day, that is much better than nothing!
3) Practice self-awareness.
Practice recognizing when you are in “fight or flight” mode. This often happens automatically and we get trapped and lost in our emotions and reactions. To be able to intervene earlier in the reaction, you must be good at “catching yourself” when it happens so that you can take action (go to the bathroom and breathe) to handle the situation and your emotions better.